How Parents Can Help College Kids Manage Their Mental Health

Helping college-age kids with their mental health is a balancing act.

Key points

• Family continues to be a trusted source of support, encouragement, and guidance for college students.

• Normalizing common struggles—such as poor grades or homesickness—can help students transition to college.

• At the same time, college students need space to make their own mistakes without parental involvement.

A college student

Before they head off to college, families have likely played a central role in students’ lives. If there are mental health issues of any type, the family may have been even more involved.

It can be difficult for anyone to switch roles. And as students begin college, the responsibility for both their education and their mental health care shifts to them.

This transition can often be a challenge for parents. Yet family continues to be a trusted source of support, encouragement, and guidance.

Here are some ways to balance our (formerly) tried and true way of helping our kids with what is actually more helpful for them.

1. Be clear about values.

Studies show that students are influenced by their families, even though they might not show it. Inspire your student to discover what mental wellness skills work for them, and what behaviors don’t work for them, just as they are discovering what academic courses they do and don’t enjoy the most.

Never forget to let your student know you care about their mental health. We often forget to say this simple but profound message.

2. Refer to campus resources.

By serving as a referral source instead of trying to solve a problem for them, you show your commitment to empowering them to take ownership of solving their own challenges. You can help them without doing it for them.

3. Make a safety plan.

If your student has struggled with serious mental health issues or suicidal ideation in the past, it’s a useful strategy to mutually agree upon what steps to take in response to personal red flags for their situation, such as changes in behavior or isolation. Setting up care resources on campus before classes even start is a helpful step, so that students can have a plan that is ready and actionable.

4. Normalize the struggle.

Understand the normal struggles of college, so not everything is seen as a crisis. It’s pretty normal, for example, for students who were confident and successful in high school to hit some bumps once they’re surrounded by lots of other high-achieving peers. Getting an average grade for the first time, being unsure about friendships, missing home, etc., can feel discouraging or worse. Families can be helpful by reassuring students that they are on the right track. Refer them back to college resources as necessary.

5. Communicate about communicating.

I recommend having a dedicated conversation about how much texting and calling they want to do. Some students love to get texts whenever, but many students can feel interrupted in their lives by getting too many texts or calls from family. Meet your student where they are at and expect many changes over the next few semesters.

At the same time, a surprise care package or a favorite treat will always be appreciated. And when you do get a chance to talk or text, never underestimate how much it matters to hear that you’re proud of them—those words of encouragement carry extra weight during this season of transition.

6. Sit on your hands.

Unless directly asked for advice, the best advice for parents is to “zip your lip.” Understand that your child needs the space to stumble, face setbacks, and explore their identity and beliefs. These experiences are essential for growth—they teach accountability, build resilience, and help students develop a strong sense of self. Offer support and encouragement, but trust that they have the tools and resources to find their way.

7. Be a role model.

I would also argue that parents/families and loved ones of those students are crucial role models, so working on your self-care and wellness benefits not only you but your student. They are watching what you do, not just listening to what you say.

By fostering open and supportive communication, you show your student that you respect their growing independence while still being a steady source of care. In doing so, you create the kind of relationship where they feel both valued and understood—and more inclined to seek your guidance when they need it most.

Mia Nosanow, MA, LP - Website