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Persistent criticism, even "for your own good," is a tool of control, not care. Subtle emotional abuse often involves persistent, demeaning criticism. Criticism becomes abusive when it’s used to control, demean, or undermine. Persistent criticism targets insecurities and distorts reality. Does this sound familiar? “You’re such a slob.” “You shouldn't be eating that." “Are you dumb?” “Can you stop laughing so loud—it's embarrassing.” "Why would you ever wear something like that?" Abuse Can Be Subtle Most people think of “ abuse ” in terms of the extremes, like name-calling, or physical violence, or aggression. But abuse occurs on a continuum and can be more subtle and nuanced—especially emotional abuse. Such abuse is typically systematic and involves a pattern of behavior in which the abuser uses coercion and manipulation tactics to assert power and control over the person. You’ve heard the phrase “death by a thousand cuts”? That’s often the method of an abuser—persistent mistreatment that doesn’t seem “that bad” at first, but over time, slowly erodes a person’s autonomy and sense of self-worth. Criticism is one of the most common strategies abusers will use to assume power in their relationship. Why Is It Hard to Detect? While honesty and feedback can be healthy in a safe and mutually respectful relationship, criticism crosses the line into subtle abuse when it becomes persistent, targeted, and demeaning. Unfortunately, many people struggle to distinguish between the two, making it harder to recognize the behavior as abusive. Here are some reasons why: The abuser rationalizes the criticism. They say things like, “I’m just trying to help you,” “This will make you better,” or “I’m only saying this because I love you.” This makes the criticism easier to digest and tolerate because you begin to view the abuser as “caring” or concerned about your well-being. The abuser positions themselves as an authority. Over time, they coerce you into believing they are smarter, more insightful, or just “know better.” You begin to second-guess yourself and take their criticisms in stride, believing they must be right. The abuser weaponizes your insecurities. They target areas where you already feel vulnerable or anxious , knowing you’re less likely to push back. Because the criticism aligns with your internal doubts and negative self-talk, it may not even register as harmful. The abuser has coerced you into believing you are too sensitive. When you express that your feelings are hurt by critical comments or remarks, the abuser often deflects and invalidates your feelings and experiences, making it about you being "too sensitive." This response shifts the focus away from their hurtful behavior and leads you to question your own emotional responses and reality. The abuser sandwiches their criticisms. The abuser will often sandwich their criticisms between compliments and expressions of affection, such as "I love you." When this occurs, it creates confusion and often makes the hurtful remarks less obvious or easier to rationalize. Constant criticism was normalized in your family of origin. If you grew up in an environment where love felt conditional, perfection was expected, or criticism was constant, you may unknowingly accept similar dynamics in adult relationships, seeing them as “normal." Criticism Has No Limits There are no limits to what the emotionally abusive partner will criticize because they feel entitled to criticize everything. Things they might criticize you for include: Your preferences and the things you like and dislike Your opinions and perspective Your lifestyle (i.e., your level of physical activity, how and what you eat, what you wear, how you spend your free time...) Your work and job performance Your friends and family Your beliefs and values Your past relationships and dating experiences Your very human qualities and errors (i.e., when you drop or spill something, when you mispronounce something, when you make a mistake) Why It's Harmful The thing about constant criticism is that it’s insidious. In the moment, it might not seem harmful, but over time, as it compounds, you begin to internalize the feedback, slowly believing the criticisms to be true. It fuels and perpetuates feelings of shame and causes you to doubt yourself—your judgment, your decision-making, your worth, and your intuition. This lack of self-trust makes you more vulnerable to further abuse. It’s a vicious cycle—and one that’s incredibly difficult to disentangle yourself from. Confronting the Reality It can be difficult to face the reality of being in a relationship with an emotionally abusive partner. It often feels easier to just deny the experience and tell yourself, "It's not that bad." But the longer you deny your experience and invalidate your feelings, the more difficult it becomes to leave—and you deserve so much better. Leah Aguirre, LCSW, - Website - Blog -

As Texans weigh their options for therapy, many may find themselves contemplating the convenience of online sessions versus the traditional route of in-person therapy. While both options offer valuable benefits, in-person therapy often provides a deeper level of engagement that can lead to more effective outcomes for certain individuals. In this blog post, we will explore the unique advantages of in-person therapy, focusing on personal connection, non-verbal communication, and the exceptional services available at The Resilience Center of Houston. The Importance of Personal Connection Establishing a personal connection with a therapist can be pivotal in the therapeutic process. In-person therapy allows for face-to-face interactions where the nuance of body language and eye contact can significantly enhance the experience. This intimate setting fosters a sense of safety, allowing clients to open up more freely about their thoughts and feelings. Research shows that therapeutic alliances formed in-person are often stronger than those created online. According to a study published in the Journal of Counseling Psychology, clients who engaged in face-to-face therapy reported higher satisfaction to their therapist and felt more understood compared to those who participated in online sessions. A comfortable therapy room inviting for in-person sessions. At The Resilience Center, our therapists are dedicated to creating a warm and inviting atmosphere. This personal touch can be especially comforting for those entering therapy for the first time, as it eases the anxiety that often accompanies counseling. Non-Verbal Communication: Unspoken Benefits Non-verbal communication can play a crucial role in the therapeutic process. In-person sessions can capture subtle cues like posture, facial expressions, and tone of voice—elements that may be lost or muted in online interactions. These cues can provide the therapist with insights that help guide the conversation and treatment approach. For example, a therapist may notice tension in your posture or hesitation in your voice during a discussion of difficult topics. This immediate feedback allows therapists to address these issues in real-time, creating an opportunity for deeper exploration and understanding of the client's feelings. Therapist actively engaging with a client in an in-person session. Moreover, meeting a therapist in person can help establish trust much faster. Clients often report feeling more comfortable discussing sensitive topics when they are in the same physical space as their therapist. Tailored Approaches to Individual Needs Every individual is unique, and so are their therapeutic needs. While online therapy offers flexibility of location and scheduling, it may not suit everyone's requirements. Face-to-face therapy can be tailored to fit the individual needs of clients much more efficiently. For instance, some individuals may benefit from art or music therapy, which can be much more effectively implemented in person. Direct collaboration with the therapist in a shared space allows for immediate feedback and adjustments to the therapeutic process. Additionally, certain therapeutic modalities, such as play therapy or group therapy, rely significantly on an in-person setting to create a safe environment for sharing and collaboration. At The Resilience Center of Houston, we emphasize personalized strategies tailored to each client's journey, ensuring that every therapy session is as effective as possible. The Environment Matters When considering therapy for the first time, the environment in which it takes place can significantly impact your experience. A calming and supportive setting can enhance feelings of safety and openness. In-person therapy sessions allow clients to engage fully with their surroundings. The atmosphere of a dedicated therapy space can help reduce anxiety, as clients feel they are entering a sanctuary specifically designed for personal growth and healing. Moreover, being in a physical space dedicated to healing can also help clients separate their therapy journey from their everyday lives. This separation is vital for mental wellness and conquering challenges. When Is Online Therapy a Good Fit? While we have discussed the compelling benefits of in-person therapy, it is essential to recognize that online therapy can also be beneficial under certain circumstances. For Texans with busy schedules or those who may feel more comfortable in their home environment, online therapy remains an accessible choice. Online therapy can also provide an advantageous option for individuals who live far from therapy centers or have mobility issues. Additionally, for those who may experience social anxiety, starting therapy online might be a less intimidating way to enter the therapeutic process. However, it’s crucial to assess your personal needs and situation. If you find that building a connection with your therapist is difficult or that you struggle with the platform's limitations, consider transitioning to in-person therapy for a more profound experience. Finding the Right Fit: Your Journey Begins Here If you are a individual in Texas considering therapy for the first time, remember that the choice between in-person and online therapy depends greatly on your personal preferences and needs. The Resilience Center offers various therapeutic services that include in-person sessions and online therapy, enabling you to find the right fit for your mental health journey. This allows you to feel empowered and supported during the healing process. We invite you to explore our services and see how our dedicated therapists can help you navigate your mental wellness journey. For more information about our individualized therapy options, check out our page on "Individual Therapy" . Therapeutic tools promoting healing and growth. Therapy is a profound and personal journey. Whether you choose in-person or online sessions, what matters most is finding a process and setting that resonates with you. In-person therapy and online therapy at The Resilience Center can offer unique advantages that foster deeper connections, enhanced communication, and an environment well-suited for growth. This is especially important for individuals embarking on their journey toward healing and self-discovery. Therefore, taking the first step towards therapy is commendable. Visit us at The Resilience Center to learn more about how therapy can truly benefit you. Your Next Steps Towards Wellness Choosing to pursue therapy is a courageous decision, and understanding the benefits of in-person therapy could be the guidance needed for many individuals at the onset of their healing process. At The Resilience Center, we prioritize creating a supportive and nurturing environment, and we encourage you to reach out and take that significant first step. Explore our informative page on "Therapeutic Modalities" to discover various approaches that can support you in your journey. Remember, your mental health is important, and seeking help is a vital step toward a healthier and more fulfilling life. If you are still uncertain about which route to take, please feel free to contact us for more personalized guidance. We are here to support you, every step of the way.

Older generations relied heavily on fine motor skills and were less depressed. There are many paths to depression, not just chemical imbalances or troubling life events. Modern conveniences that reduce fine motor activity engagement are correlated with some depressive profiles. Engaging the effort-driven rewards circuit via use of fine motor skills can create resilience to depression. Depression , like other psychological disorders, doesn't simply germinate from an unfortunate seed that blows into one's genetic landscape. With rare exception, psychological disorders are forged of biological, psychological, and social ingredients (e.g. Sampogna et al, 2024), and psychiatric medication alone isn't a silver bullet. As a teenager struggling with OCD , social anxiety , and depression, I took to making fishing flies, especially like the Victorian-era Atlantic salmon fly in the photo at left, to keep myself distracted from the intrusive thoughts—and occupied, given I wasn’t socializing much. It did the trick. While tying, my mind was at ease, and when I wasn’t tying, I had something to look forward to. Further, I felt satisfaction at the results of the creative process, providing me some semblance of self-esteem. Until reading the research of neuroscientist Kelly Lambert, I thought the cure lay simply in having something constructively distracting and the whole satisfaction in creation phenomenon, not fine motor activity itself. The fine motor activity factor Lambert wrote that in the late 1990's, she learned that people who lived through two world wars and the Great Depression reported fewer incidents of depression than those in younger generations. She was stumped, so, as a researcher at Johns Hopkins, she began a research project. The results led to a 2008 book, Lifting Depression, and an article in Scientific American called "Depressingly Easy" later that year. The latter title foreshadows the research results. Lambert wrote that the conveniences of modern life (a social factor) are depriving people of engaging their effort-driven rewards circuitry (biological), contributing to more depressive states. Anyone familiar with depression knows that the fatigue, cognitive troubles, and dysphoric feelings it brings on can easily lead to negative thinking (psychological), which in turn compounds lack of motivation, etc., reducing the fine motor activity or any activity and keeping the cycle in motion. Lambert described being struck by how modern conveniences meant people were much less active. This didn't relate just to exercise like walking to school or biking to work: Seemingly small daily tasks like churning butter, sewing, harvesting the garden, and washing clothes on a board, which added up to a lot of activity at the end of the day, are no longer part of our daily routine. “Did we lose something vital to our mental health when we started pushing buttons instead of plowing fields?” she asked, and offered her opinion that, “From a neuroanatomical point of view, I believe the answer is an emphatic yes.” The role of effort-driven rewards circuitry Lambert tells us, “Our brains are programmed to derive a deep sense of satisfaction and pleasure when our physical effort produces something tangible, visible, and—this fact is extremely important—meaningful in gaining the resources necessary for our survival.” She named this the “effort-driven rewards circuitry.” It consists of the nucleus accumbens, or pleasure center; the striatum, or motor activity control area; and the prefrontal cortex, which manages our thinking. This increased perception of control over our environment leading to consistent positive emotions might be thought of as also being a natural repellent for any depression or anxiety that might be more genetic or environmental from acutely settling in. Clearly, this is a cycle of complex movements coupled with intricate thought processes. In a nutshell, it makes sense that we evolved a system that provides psychological rewards for the engagement of fine motor skills used for meaningful tasks, originally meant to keep us alive. In fact, our hands and fine motor skills are so important, about a third of the motor cortex is dedicated to their functioning. Even more interesting, Lambert wrote, the anticipation of the rewarding activity creates more action in the pleasure center than achieving the task. It might be thought of as an inborn motivator to do the necessary things. Combating the convenience fallout We might not need fine motor skills as much for activities of daily living today, but that doesn’t mean we are not still wired for it, or that they shouldn’t be used for maximum well-being. Unless you’re, say, a fine artist, tradesman, surgeon, or dedicated fly tier, chances are your daily work involves sedentary activity in front of a screen, which, while involving lots of finger motions, is more of repetitive reach-and-tap, and does not involve a variety of more complex maneuvers as the aforementioned activities do. So, when I’m tying flies or someone is sculpting or you’re preparing meal ingredients, the variety of fine motor activity is producing something useful and meaningful and engaging the effort-driven rewards circuitry. In turn, such action, Lambert notes, encourages the secretion of neurochemicals like dopamine and serotonin that help with maintain a positive mood. In the meantime, neural connections are strengthened and reinforced as new brain cells are believed to be produced, which is correlated to recovering from negative emotions like depression. As I wrote about in my earlier posts, Mental Illness Isn’t Just About Chemical Imbalances and 2 Things Not to Say to Someone who is Depressed, Lambert’s research is another example that depression is not always about neurochemistry or unsettling life events. This is of course not to say that learning to the play the piano will magically resolve deep-seated emotional complications, but it is reasonable to believe it can be an effective adjunctive activity. If nothing else, it seems that increasing fine-motor activity contributes to emotional resilience—and an ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure. Disclaimer: The material provided in this post is for informational purposes only and is not intended to diagnose, treat, or prevent any illness in readers or people they know. The information should not replace personalized care or intervention from an individual’s provider or formal supervision if you’re a practitioner or student. Anthony Smith, LMHC, - Website - Blog - References Lambert, K. (2008 August/September). Depressingly easy. In Scientific American Mind, 30-37. Lambert, K. (2008). Lifting depression: A neuroscientist's hands-on approach to activating your brain's healing center. Basic Books. Sampogna, G., Brugnoli, R., & Fiorillo, A. (2024). The biopsychosocial model revised for mental health. In: Fiorillo, A., De Giorgi, S. (eds) Social Determinants of Mental Health.

Embrace holistic methods to address and heal both mental and physical ailments. Many mental health issues stem from early trauma and chronic stress. Emotional pain often shows up in the body—as fatigue, gut issues, or chronic pain. Healing happens when we treat the mind and body together. During Mental Health Awareness Month, I would like to address some common misconceptions. First and foremost, it is essential to remember that many of the conditions we treat in mental health do not arise out of nowhere—they are deeply rooted in early life experiences. With the adverse childhood events (ACEs) research, we now recognize that many mental and chronic physical illnesses originate from traumatic events and prolonged stress. This difficult yet powerful insight shows us that many of the conditions we treat in mental health—such as depression , anxiety , and PTSD —are not simply isolated brain dysfunctions. They are, in part, adaptive responses to early experiences of trauma and stress that affect the functioning of the whole being: physically, emotionally, mentally, and spiritually. These experiences leave their mark not only on memory but also on how a person understands the world, relates to others, and even quite literally inscribe themselves into the body. Chronic, unresolved emotional pain can becomes somatized—that is, it finds ways to express itself through the body. This may manifest as insomnia or fatigue, but also as migraines, panic attacks , anxiety, digestive disorders, and more. Often, people living with these symptoms don’t know that what they’re experiencing has deep roots in the past—and that there are, in fact, paths to healing. The Mind-Body Connection: A Key to Understanding Mental Health This invites us to broaden our perspective: mental health cannot and should not be understood or addressed in isolation from the body, the environment, or the past. In my clinical practice, this becomes especially evident when I observe the connection between the digestive system and emotional states. The gut-brain axis, also known as the second brain, reveals how gut health is closely linked to mental balance. I have noticed, time and again, that where there is mental distress, there is often digestive dysfunction. When we restore digestive health, we provide a solid pillar for improving mental well-being. Digestion requires the nervous system to be in a parasympathetic state—that is, a state of rest, safety, and connection—precisely the state that trauma tends to disrupt. When I first began my practice, I treated people who came in with intractable physical pain. As they relaxed on the table, they would speak to me about their lives, and it became clear that there was a connection between the source of their physical pain and the content of their words. Over the years, I have also come to understand the immense power of somatic, energetic, and body-based therapies. These work along a wide spectrum—from gradual trauma exposure to activating internal pathways of self-regulation. These tools allow us to access layers of experience that don't fall within the realm of language but can be felt, inhabited, and, over time, transformed. Many ancient cultures intuitively understand something that modern neuroscience is only beginning to confirm true health is not merely the absence of illness, but a deep state of balance between body and mind. For these cultures, learning to regulate the body—particularly the autonomic nervous system (ANS), which governs functions like breathing, heart rate, and the stress response—is an essential part of spiritual life and medicine. Healing Beyond Symptoms: A Personalized and Holistic Path It is difficult to find a balance between practices that must be evidence-based and what is instinctively felt. For many years, while living in the jungle in Mexico and learning from indigenous science and medicine, I did not concern myself with the limitations of biomedicine or the constant need for scientific validation. What I was living was deeply human reconnecting with pain, the Earth, and with others. The Western mental health system favors the standardized and quantifiable, often overlooking something I consider just as important: the individualized therapeutic relationship—the one-on-one connection, where each body and each person has a unique way of healing. Healing must be done holistically, aiming to see the full picture rather than just the symptoms. In the context of this awareness month, I invite you to view mental health as a holistic process. This doesn’t mean rejecting science, but rather expanding our understanding of what counts as knowledge and what can lead us to genuine healing. One of the core goals of our work is to help people understand that many of their health symptoms may be linked to past experiences of stress or trauma. This is not a reductionist view, but rather a recognition that the body holds memory, and that many physical manifestations were once adaptive survival responses. Exploring these connections takes time, but it can transform the way you understand what you’re going through. Maybe you’ve asked yourself why something always seems off, why a new symptom appears as soon as one resolve, or why there are physical discomforts that no one can fully explain. That feeling of being out of sync or not finding clear answers is more common than you might think. So, I want to tell you something important: you are not broken, and you are not alone. Many of these symptoms begin to make sense when we start to see the body and mind as an interconnected system, rather than separate parts. From a holistic perspective, instead of seeking isolated solutions for each symptom, we look at the full picture—your story, your body, your emotions. This act of integration is healing. Leslie Korn, Ph.D., - Website - Blog -

Mental health is a vital aspect of our overall well-being. In recent years, the emphasis on mental health support has grown significantly, and it's crucial for individuals, families, and communities to prioritize it. Mental health can be affected by various factors, including stress, trauma, and life changes, and understanding how to support ourselves and others can lead to healthier lives. Why Mental Health Matters Mental health influences how we think, feel, and act. It also plays a huge role in how we handle stress, relate to others, and make choices. A staggering statistic from the World Health Organization reports that one in four individuals will experience a mental health issue at some point in their lives. This prevalence highlights the critical nature of mental health support. For instance, anxiety and depression are common mental health disorders that affect millions. They often lead to significant disruptions in daily life, diminishing one's ability to fulfill responsibilities at work or home. Early identification and treatment are essential. When individuals receive the necessary help, they benefit not just themselves, but their families and communities too. Comfortable counseling space for better mental health support. Types of Mental Health Support Support for mental health can come in many forms. These include therapy, support groups, medications, and self-care strategies. Let's delve deeper into these resources for better understanding. Therapy Therapy, or counseling, involves working with a qualified mental health professional to address specific issues. There are various types of therapeutic approaches, including cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT) and dialectical behavior therapy (DBT). Each method has unique techniques but fundamentally aims to help individuals tackle emotional and psychological challenges. Support Groups Support groups provide a platform for individuals to share their experiences and connect with others dealing with similar issues. They can be beneficial in reducing feelings of isolation and providing insights from people who are on the same journey. For example, a support group for individuals dealing with anxiety can offer valuable coping strategies and a sense of community. Medications In some cases, medication may be necessary to treat mental health disorders. Antidepressants, anti-anxiety medications, and mood stabilizers can be effective in managing symptoms. It’s essential for individuals to consult healthcare professionals to determine the best course of action. Self-Care Strategies Self-care plays a crucial role in maintaining mental health. Practices such as regular exercise, mindfulness, and sufficient sleep are vital in fostering resilience. For instance, studies show that individuals who engage in regular physical activity report lower levels of stress and anxiety. Nature scene that encourages mindfulness and relaxation. Overcoming Stigma A significant barrier to accessing mental health support is the stigma surrounding mental health issues. Many individuals may feel ashamed or embarrassed to seek help, fearing judgment from others. It's essential to challenge and change this narrative. Education is crucial; informing people about the realities of mental health disorders can help dismantle stereotypes. For example, campaigns promoting mental health awareness encourage open conversations and normalize seeking help. A simple way to combat stigma is by sharing success stories of those who have sought help and thrived. By showcasing real experiences, we can show that mental health challenges are common and treatable. Where to Seek Help Finding the right support can be overwhelming. However, there are various resources available. If you're unsure where to begin, consider these steps: Talk to Your Doctor: Your primary care physician can provide referrals to mental health professionals. Community Centers: Many local centers offer counseling services or can guide you to appropriate services. Online Resources: Websites like Resilience Center offer information about mental health services and resources available in your area. Hotlines: Numerous hotlines provide immediate assistance and guidance, ensuring that no one feels alone in their struggles. Community event dedicated to promoting mental health awareness and support. Supporting Others Being a supportive friend or family member to someone struggling with mental health can make a significant difference in their journey to healing. Here are some actionable tips for providing support: Listen Actively: Sometimes, all a person needs is someone to listen. Encourage them to express their feelings without fear of judgment. Educate Yourself: Understanding mental health issues can help you empathize and offer informed support. Encourage Professional Help: Gently suggest they explore professional resources if they haven't already. Be Patient: Recovery is often a long process with ups and downs. Be patient and remain supportive throughout their journey. The importance of mental health support cannot be overstated. Whether for yourself or for someone you know, understanding the pathways to mental well-being can lead to significant improvements in overall quality of life. By removing stigma, providing resources, and offering empathetic support, we can all contribute to a healthier society. Taking Action for Mental Health As we emphasize the importance of mental health support, proactive measures at individual and community levels become crucial. It's time to take action! Engage in Community Programs: Participate in awareness campaigns, workshops, or mental health fairs. Advocate for Mental Health Services: Support policies that promote mental health initiatives and ensure access to care for everyone. Cultivate Compassion: Foster environments—whether at home or in the workplace—where individuals feel safe discussing their mental health needs. By working together, we can build a society that prioritizes mental wellness, ultimately leading to healthier and happier communities. Remember, every small step counts in making mental health a priority.

There are proven strategies for people with ADHD to build confidence and meet goals. The relationship between ADHD and self-sabotage is complicated due to executive functioning challenges. Whether self-sabotage is conscious or unconscious, negative self-talk keeps you from reaching your goals. Signs of self-sabotage include procrastination, avoidance, perfectionism, and pleasing others at your expense. ​​​Living with ADHD often feels like trying to chase your dreams while dragging a parachute behind you. You know what you want to accomplish—yet self-sabotage, low confidence, and a cycle of unfinished plans keep getting in the way. But you're not alone and, more importantly, you're not broken. Self-Sabotage and ADHD Self-sabotage is linked to issues often related to living with A\DHD and executive functioning challenges: low self-esteem, feeling deficient, discomfort with change, and a need for control. Self-sabotage is also called “self-handicapping” in the psychological literature. Research on people who engage in “self-handicapping” has found that they sometimes engage in behaviors that hurt their own chances of success in order to avoid being accountable for what they think could be subsequent failures. Self-sabotage reflects an imbalance in how people perceive threats and understand rewards. It’s an unhealthy way to protect yourself from future possible stresses and disappointments by stopping what you want to achieve before someone else does. People with ADHD who naturally struggle with self-regulation, consistency, follow-through, and metacognition are especially vulnerable to self-sabotage. For example, let’s say that you have an important meeting at work this week about a project that’s taken three weeks to formulate. You know that you should stay in and go to bed early the night before. But a college friend arrives in town and persuades you to hit a few bars, which sounds fun. You stumble home at 1 a.m. and arrive late for work, almost missing the meeting. Your presentation goes poorly, and your colleagues don’t want to use your model. You blame the alcohol and your friend for your disappointing performance instead of your own poor judgment and impulse control. Chalk it up to ADHD impulsivity. Maybe. But, since it’s happened before, there’s something more. Self-Sabotage, Negative Self-Talk, and Shame Self-sabotage manifests as negative self-talk in two ways. Consciously, you may tell yourself that you cannot do something because it hasn’t worked out in the past and this time is no different. Perhaps you blame external circumstances on others but think privately, “You are stupid, incompetent and unlikeable.” Unconsciously, you avoid challenges to prevent disappointment or you repeat unhealthy decisions that ultimately lead to a fiasco. Again, you confirm to yourself and others that you are untrustworthy and undependable. You tell yourself that you “really are a loser.” Whether your self-sabotage is conscious or unconscious, negative self-talk keeps you from setting and accomplishing your goals. Low self-esteem and beliefs about being deficient, or incapable contribute to these patterns. These deep-seated, limiting core beliefs fuel low self-worth. If left unchecked, this can lead to general anxiety , social anxiety and depression . Feelings of shame and self-doubt often surface early on for those with ADHD. The shame about not being able to succeed at school or handle tasks as well as others may start in childhood and continue into adulthood. Children with ADHD feel “different” from their peers and worry about messing up and not measuring up. It’s natural to want to avoid this insecurity and self-doubt. Signs of Self-Sabotage There are a number of behaviors and thoughts that reflect self-sabotage. Do you engage in any of these? When and how? Avoidance. Procrastination. Fixed mindset. Exercising control over others. Pleasing others at your own expense. Engaging in risky behaviors. Using “compare and despair” thinking. Perfectionism. Tools to Address Self-Sabotage 1. Establish healthier alternatives to limiting beliefs, negative self-talk, and safety-seeking behaviors. Shift your thinking away from perfection. Perfection doesn’t exist no matter and good enough is more realistic. Instead of worrying about pleasing others or obtaining their approval, pivot from these distractions and focus on being present. If you find yourself pulled into a cycle of negativity or harsh judgment, reverse course by slowing down and focusing on what is happening around you. Zoom out and use mindful awareness recall positive outcomes from the past. Consider how you can apply those successes to the present. 2. Identify phrases of self-sabotage and create rebuttals. Create your own list of encouraging phrases to use when you want to lower the volume on the negative self-talk. You are not your thoughts but you are the one who is aware of them. You can choose not to believe them or talk back to them with positive self-talk. This takes work and practice so expect yourself to stumble and have setbacks. Remember, you’ve done hard things before and you can again. 3. Set small behavioral goals that are low risk experiments to build confidence. Engaging in “compare and despair” and looking sideways at what others are doing will interfere with building the confidence and courage needed to reduce self-sabotaging patterns. Instead, look at where you’ve come from and where you want to go. Then set small, doable tasks test/defy those negative core beliefs. For example, if you are anxious about attending a social gathering, decide that you will try smiling at new people. When you’re comfortable with that step, then take it up a notch by saying "hello" to one or two people. Afterwards, assess how the situation went, accept any awkwardness that you felt. Write down some notes for yourself to use in the future. 4. Adjust expectations to include the natural stumbles of being human. Human beings falter, make mistakes, re-group, and move forward. This is the journey for everybody. Your ADHD brain may cause frustrating challenges but it also brings unique talents. Create realistic expectations based on your strengths and interests. Transform unpleasant tasks by breaking them down into doable parts and set incentives/rewards when they are finished. Separate your ADHD diagnosis from who you are as a person: you are so much more than that. When you regret something that you said or did, remind yourself that all people have their moments. You are still a worthy and capable person who has a lot to offer. 5. Use a growth mindset approach. A growth mindset posits that people are supposed to make errors and grow from them. Shift away from trying to prove your worth to others using false comparisons, expecting perfection or judging yourself as less than. Instead of seeing yourself in a negative light, practice compassion and kindness toward yourself. We are all works in progress, learning and developing at our own speeds. Believe in the power of "yet." You may not be able to do this yet, but you are learning. 6. Try a healing meditation to improve mindful self-compassion. Practicing patience and forgiveness towards yourself thwarts self-sabotage related to ADHD and nurtures self-acceptance to being uniquely wired. Sit in a quiet place and take three deep breaths. Then picture yourself at a beautiful spot outside on a lovely day. See the blue sky and hear the sounds around. Now, visualize the face of someone you really love. What encouraging words would this person say to you? How would these words comfort and encourage you? What would you like to say to them? Take a few more deep breaths and come back to the room. Write or dictate a few words about this experience to use in the future when you feel low. Living with ADHD means experiencing moments when you’re aware that you are struggling but you don’t necessarily know why or how to fix it. Self-sabotage is not a character flaw; it's a pattern that you can change over time with these effective strategies. Start where you are and remember, you’ve got this. Sharon Saline, Psy.D., - Website - Blog - References Chan, David, "Why people self-sabotage, and how to stop it" (2019). Research Collection School of Social Sciences. Paper 3079. Fimiani, R., Mannocchi, C., Gorman, B.S. et al. Guilt over success, impostor phenomenon, and self-sabotaging behaviors. Curr Psychol 43, 19081–19090 (2024). Özçetin, Y. Ü., & Hiçdurmaz, D. (2016). Self-handicapping and its impact on Mental Health. Psikiyatride Güncel Yaklaşımlar, 8(2), 145-154.

Building and maintaining strong relationships can often feel challenging, yet it is one of the most rewarding aspects of life. Whether it's with a partner, family member, or a close friend, the effort you put into your relationships will pay off significantly. In this blog post, we will explore effective strategies for strengthening relationships, particularly focusing on relationship therapy techniques that can help you deepen your connections. Understanding the Role of Relationship Therapy Relationship therapy serves as a critical tool for individuals and couples looking to improve their interactions and emotional bonds. It provides a safe space for open communication, where underlying issues can be addressed. According to the American Psychological Association, couples who seek therapy often report an improvement in their relationship satisfaction. Therapy can offer various methods to help couples connect, often involving communication and conflict-resolution exercises. By engaging in relationship therapy, individuals can recognize patterns that have led to misunderstandings. This awareness opens the door for healthier interactions, ultimately paving the way for a more profound connection. Communication: The Heart of Relationships Effective communication is at the core of every successful relationship. Misunderstandings can quickly escalate into conflict, making it essential to convey thoughts and feelings clearly. Here are a few strategies to enhance your communication skills: Active Listening : When your partner is speaking, give them your full attention. Avoid interrupting and demonstrate that you are listening through nodding or verbal affirmations. Try summarizing what they said to ensure you understand. Use "I" Statements : Instead of saying "You never listen," rephrase it as "I feel unheard when you don't respond." This technique reduces defensiveness and fosters a collaborative atmosphere. Ask Open-Ended Questions : Encourage deeper conversation with questions that require more than a yes or no answer. For example, ask "How did your day go?" instead of "Did you have a good day?" Fostering open channels for communication can be a game-changer in relationships, driving home the point that partners are on the same team. Quality Time: Creating Lasting Memories Spending quality time together is essential for relationship growth. It helps strengthen emotional bonds and creates shared experiences that contribute to lasting memories. Here are some tips on how to maximize time spent together: Scheduled Date Nights : Make it a point to schedule regular date nights. Whether going out or staying in, dedicating time to each other helps maintain the bond. Shared Hobbies : Find activities you both enjoy, be it cooking, hiking, or watching movies. Engaging in shared interests promotes teamwork and unity. Mindful Moments : Practice being present in the moment. This means putting away distractions like phones and simply enjoying each other’s company, whether during a meal or while watching a movie together. The aim should always be to create meaningful experiences that you can look back on fondly. Conflict Resolution: Navigating Tough Times Every relationship will face conflicts at some point. The key is not to avoid conflicts but to learn effective ways to address them. Here are some strategies for productive conflict resolution: Stay Calm : During disagreements, take a moment to breathe and gather your thoughts. Emotional outbursts can lead to hurtful comments that may damage the relationship. Find Common Ground : Focus on what you agree on rather than the points of disagreement. This strategy often diffuses tense situations and fosters a collaborative spirit. Take Breaks if Necessary : If a situation becomes too heated, agree to take a break. Revisit the conversation later when both parties are calm and more rational. Adopting these conflict resolution techniques helps ensure that you work through disagreements without tarnishing your emotional connection. Investing in Emotional Connection Strengthening emotional intimacy is crucial for long-term relationship prosperity. Here are a few actionable steps to enhance emotional connections: Share Vulnerabilities : Discuss your fears, dreams, and insecurities openly. Vulnerability fosters trust and encourages your partner to share their feelings too. Express Gratitude : Regularly acknowledge what you appreciate about your partner. Simple statements of gratitude can have a big impact, making your partner feel valued and loved. Physical Affection : Never underestimate the power of a hug, kiss, or gentle touch. Physical affection can be a significant contributor to emotional connection. Incorporating these aspects into your daily routine can help enhance your bond and make your relationship more resilient. Seeking Professional Help When Needed Sometimes, relationships face challenges that self-help methods can't resolve. In such cases, seeking professional guidance can effectively strengthen your relationship. Engaging in relationship therapy can introduce structured approaches to address deeper issues. For more information on the variety of relationship therapy techniques available, check out this link . A therapist can tailor sessions based on your unique needs and dynamics, facilitating the growth of healthier interactions. Having a professional mediator can help you navigate through difficult conversations and clarify misunderstandings more efficiently. A Path to Stronger Bonding Investing time and effort into your relationships can lead to deeper connections and increased satisfaction. By enhancing communication, spending quality time, resolving conflicts, and nurturing emotional intimacy, you create a stronger foundation for any relationship. Remember that every relationship is a journey, with ups and downs along the way. It's essential to be patient, open, and willing to adapt. Whether you choose to explore relationship therapy techniques or simply implement small changes on your own, know that you are taking a positive step toward enriching your relationships. Every action taken is a step closer to a healthier, more fulfilling connection with those you care about most.

A buzzworthy trend, the use of beta-blockers for anxiety comes with risks. "Off-label" treatments for psychological issues should be used with caution. It is vital to remain cautious and informed before assuming that there is a “miracle drug” or panacea. Buzzworthy remedies can often be mistaken for true, effective treatments. Without question, there is a fair deal of negative stigma surrounding traditional psychopharmaceutical treatments for problems such as anxiety , depression , and panic . While these medications of various classes have been proven effective and safe over the years, there remains a portion of the population that views them as risky, possibly addicting, and overall, not worth taking despite the experience of the uncomfortable symptoms associated with psychological problems. As a result, some people turn to “off-label” solutions for treating issues like anxiety and panic , such as supplements, homeopathic remedies, and other less-proven and not necessarily science-backed options. Recently, the use of beta-blockers, which are intended to treat heart conditions such as high blood pressure or irregular heartbeat, has become commonly used as off-label treatments for anxiety and panic. Functionally, beta-blockers do just that: they block the rush of adrenaline that occurs when people experience anxiety, therefore reducing the physical symptoms associated with anxiety and panic. But while this sounds solid as an anxiety defense in theory, the practice and clinical research reveal another side of the story that should not be ignored. Using medications in ways other than indicated always comes with certain risks. This is not to say that medications never have cross-efficacy, but that it is important to be aware of the possible risks and side effects that can come with using an off-label treatment. While there has been longstanding research (beta-blockers have been studied since the 1960s) to suggest that beta-blockers can indeed help reduce the effects of stress-induced anxiety, such as is associated with public speaking or performance, there is also conflicting research which suggests that beta-blockers can actually worsen the symptoms associated with anxiety. A 1985 study (Kelly) states that “a number of clinical trials have shown the effectiveness of beta-blockers such as propranolol, sotalol and oxprenolol, in the relief of anxiety symptoms both in comparison to placebo and benzodiazepines.” But a much more current study by Archer, Et. Al (2024) concludes that “beta-blockers are increasingly prescribed for anxiety, yet there is a lack of robust evidence of effectiveness.” The information regarding the effectiveness of beta-blockers as a treatment for anxiety remains conflicted, and this is important for patients to understand before assuming that they are the “magic bullet” as a treatment option. Further research indicates that severe reactions to beta-blockers when used off-label can occur. These include dizziness, fatigue, nightmares and insomnia, slow heart rate, low blood pressure, nausea, irregular heartbeat, and dry eyes. There is also evidence to suggest that withdrawal or the sudden cessation of taking beta-blockers can significantly increase anxiety and depression. It is also important to recognize that certain pre-existing conditions can make the use of off-label beta-blockers dangerous: these conditions include COPD, asthma, and diabetes. Because of the immediacy and accessibility of information in our society, it can be easy to be influenced by quick fixes and “hacks” for the various problems we encounter. While these solutions can sometimes be effective, when it comes to medical interventions, it is vital to remain cautious and informed before assuming that there is a “miracle drug” that can cure all of our ills. Keep the following in mind anytime an off-label remedy becomes buzzworthy, as beta-blockers recently have: Consult with a psychiatrist or psychiatric nurse practitioner to help you determine what medication is best for you and for your unique symptoms. Be wary of self-diagnosis or self-medication. Understand what a particular medication is indicated for and if it is commonly used off-label, be sure to understand the associated risks and if you are a candidate for safe off-label use. Ensure that any information you find about off-label treatments is scientifically and medically backed. Be wary of anecdotal or non-medical information. Just because a new remedy has gained online traction does not mean that it is scientifically supported or safe. It is important to do your due diligence prior to adding a medication or supplement to your treatment. Phil Lane, MSW, LCSW, - Website - Blog - References Chan, David, "Why people self-sabotage, and how to stop it" (2019). Research Collection School of Social Sciences. Paper 3079. https://ink.library.smu.edu.sg/soss_research/3079 Fimiani, R., Manocha, C., Gorman, B.S. et al. Guilt over success, impostor phenomenon, and self-sabotaging behaviors. Curr Psychol 43, 19081–19090 (2024). Özçetin, Y. Ü., & Hiçdurmaz, D. (2016). Self-handicapping and its impact on Mental Health. Psikiyatride Güncel Yaklaşımlar, 8(2), 145-154.

The first myth? You either have self-esteem or you don’t. 1. Myth: You either have self-esteem or you don’t. Self-esteem can seem so elusive and out of reach that many deem themselves fated to a life of low self worth. They imagine some have the gift of loving themselves through amazing parents, perfect childhoods, or fortunate genetics, and that they have lost the lottery on the gift of self-esteem. Truth: Self-esteem is learned through a series of interactions with the environment and others over time and through your reactions to these experiences. Start by seeing your setbacks as opportunities for growth and new learning versus ultimate statements regarding your worth as a human. When you don’t succeed or feel rejected instead of giving up on yourself entirely, consider what you can take away and learn from that experience. 2. Myth: Working on "you" will increase your self-esteem. It’s common to hear people say they are going to work on themselves or take a break from life or relationships so they may discover and accept themselves. The reality is you can’t banish yourself to some phantom self-esteem island and expect to come back all better. Truth: Self-esteem is a process that evolves over time. It needs interaction with others and the world. You will grow each time you interact in the world and have positive experiences of yourself. Positive experiences of yourself include triumphing over hardship and rejection. Challenge yourself to develop relationships and interests that make you feel whole and grounded. Get rid of toxic relationships that bring out the worst in you. 3. Myth: Doing things, you are good at will increase your self-esteem. When we don’t feel good about ourselves, popular advice would suggest we should do the things we are good at and as a result, we will feel better. Doing the things we are familiar with is easy, far easier than doing what we are unfamiliar with. However, we can’t grow and see ourselves in a new and more positive light if we stay stuck in the same old ruts. Truth: It’s the hard things in life and new experiences that help us feel strong and empowered. When we continue to date the same types of partners and take on the same activities and work projects, our perception of ourselves remains in one place. Challenge yourself to tackle novel tasks, different experiences, and to meet new types of people. Do that and you can start to feel more capable. 4. Myth: Shiny new things (including new romantic relationships) will bring self-esteem. It’s tempting to outsource a sense of self to material possessions or new romantic partners. The reality is each time you try to buy self-esteem or distract yourself with romantic relationships that lack true emotional intimacy, you are turning away from the only person who can make you feel whole—yourself. Truth: Self-esteem is not purchasable. When you feel as if you want to buy something or date someone, pause and sit with your feelings. Chances are you are running from the one person you can’t escape. Instead, start building your comfort with yourself one step at a time. In my book, Building Self-Esteem: 5 Steps , I offer more strategies for how to build a positive sense of yourself. Jill P. Weber, Ph.D., - Website - Blog -

Starting therapy can be a transformative experience, but its success often depends on setting clear and achievable therapy goals. Without a clear direction, therapy sessions may feel unfocused or less effective. Defining what you want to achieve helps both you and your therapist stay aligned and motivated throughout the process. This article explores how to set meaningful therapy goals, why they matter, and practical ways to track your progress. Understanding the Importance of Therapy Goals Therapy goals act as a roadmap for your healing and growth. They provide clarity on what you want to work on and help measure your progress. When goals are specific and realistic, they increase your chances of success and satisfaction with therapy. For example, instead of a vague goal like "feel better," a more effective goal might be "reduce anxiety symptoms to manage daily tasks without panic attacks." This specificity allows your therapist to tailor techniques and interventions that directly address your needs. Setting therapy goals also encourages active participation. When you know what you want to achieve, you become more engaged in sessions and motivated to practice skills outside therapy. It transforms therapy from a passive experience into a collaborative journey. Writing clear therapy goals in a notebook How to Set Effective Therapy Goals Creating effective therapy goals involves reflection, clarity, and collaboration. Here are some practical steps to guide you: Reflect on Your Needs and Challenges Take time to think about what issues are most pressing in your life. Are you struggling with anxiety, depression, relationship problems, or self-esteem? Identifying your main challenges helps focus your goals. Make Goals Specific and Measurable Use clear language that defines what success looks like. For example, "improve communication skills to express feelings calmly during conflicts" is better than "communicate better." Set Realistic and Achievable Goals Break down larger goals into smaller, manageable steps. For instance, if your goal is to overcome social anxiety, a first step might be to attend one social event per week. Prioritize Your Goals You may have multiple areas to work on, but focusing on a few key goals at a time prevents overwhelm and increases focus. Collaborate with Your Therapist Share your goals openly with your therapist. They can help refine them and suggest strategies to reach them effectively. Review and Adjust Goals Regularly Therapy is a dynamic process. As you progress, your goals may evolve. Regularly revisiting them ensures they remain relevant and motivating. By following these steps, you create a clear path that guides your therapy journey and maximizes its benefits. What are examples of treatment goals? Understanding what therapy goals look like can help you formulate your own. Here are some common examples across different areas: Emotional Regulation - Learn techniques to manage anger and reduce outbursts. - Decrease feelings of sadness or hopelessness by practicing mindfulness daily. Anxiety and Stress Management - Reduce panic attacks from multiple times a week to once a month. - Develop coping strategies to handle work-related stress effectively. Relationship Improvement - Improve communication with a partner by using active listening skills. - Set healthy boundaries with family members to reduce conflict. Self-Esteem and Confidence - Challenge negative self-talk and replace it with positive affirmations. - Engage in activities that build confidence, such as public speaking or hobbies. Behavioral Changes - Establish a consistent sleep routine to improve overall well-being. - Reduce avoidance behaviors by gradually facing feared situations. These examples illustrate how goals can be tailored to your unique needs. Remember, your goals should feel meaningful and motivating to you. Therapist and client discussing therapy goals during a session Tracking Progress and Staying Motivated Setting goals is just the beginning. Tracking your progress helps maintain momentum and provides a sense of accomplishment. Here are some tips to stay on track: Keep a Journal Write down your thoughts, feelings, and any changes you notice. Journaling can reveal patterns and highlight improvements. Use Rating Scales Rate your mood, anxiety, or other symptoms on a scale from 1 to 10 regularly. This quantifies progress and helps identify triggers. Celebrate Small Wins Acknowledge even minor achievements. Celebrating progress boosts motivation and reinforces positive change. Communicate Openly with Your Therapist Share your successes and setbacks. Your therapist can adjust your treatment plan to better support your goals. Set Reminders and Check-Ins Use calendars or apps to remind you of homework assignments or coping strategies to practice between sessions. By actively monitoring your journey, you stay engaged and empowered to reach your therapy goals. How to Find Support for Your Therapy Goals Sometimes, setting and achieving therapy goals requires additional support. This can come from your therapist, support groups, or trusted friends and family. If you are looking for professional guidance, consider exploring resources like goals for therapy sessions to connect with experienced therapists who can help you define and reach your objectives. Remember, therapy is a partnership. The right support system can make a significant difference in your success. Comfortable therapy office setting for supportive sessions Moving Forward with Confidence Setting clear therapy goals is a powerful step toward healing and personal growth. It transforms therapy into a focused, purposeful journey where progress is visible and meaningful. By reflecting on your needs, collaborating with your therapist, and tracking your progress, you create a strong foundation for success. Whether your goals involve managing emotions, improving relationships, or building confidence, clarity and commitment will guide you. Embrace the process with patience and openness, knowing that each step forward brings you closer to the life you want to live.

Should you stay together only for the kids? Staying together for the kids is only sometimes the best solution. Communicating a divorce to children with care and honesty is crucial. Navigating the post-divorce period requires effort and flexibility. Kids can thrive and become more resilient if at least one parent stays strong and loving. In my work with parents, I've found that three big questions about divorce recur frequently. 1. Should you stay together only for the kids? By its very nature, a family breakdown is expensive, stressful, and destabilizing. In the first two years, kids whose parents' divorce are more likely than others to experience distress, anger , anxiety , and academic problems and to participate in disruptive behaviors , substance use, and other forms of risk-taking. However, most children whose parents split up are resilient and, after a year or two, exhibit none of these problems. They adapt to the new routines and grow comfortable with the new living arrangements. So, if you're thinking long term, no, it isn't always best for your child if you stay with a partner, you're having problems with. Major long-term studies show that although many children experience short-term problems and setbacks, the vast majority rebound after a year or two. On balance, children of divorce become well-adjusted adults as long as they have at least one loving parent who remains committed to their welfare. Far from suffering inevitable damage from divorce, children can reap long-term benefits from seeing their parents decide in favor of happiness and fulfillment. Every case is unique, with a complex and individual set of conditions and constraints, so there isn't an easy answer that applies to every family —but in general, if you're wondering about staying together for the kids, don't. 2. How do you tell the kids? Let your child know what's happening as soon as the decision is final. Children are remarkably perceptive, and secrecy can cause more damage than knowledge. Secrecy leads to imagined worries, most of which are worse than the reality. Choose a good time to talk as a family. Once you've established a plan for moving forward, find a time when none of the family members are tired, hungry, or rushing away. Keep the message simple and practical. This is not a time for reasons why or for blame, but rather it should be an information session about as many as possible of the details of each person's life going forward. If you know where you'll be living, talk about that, and who'll take your child to school and pick them up. If you and your spouse can proceed amicably with co-parenting (ideal for your child's development), emphasize that your child will still have two parents who love them and will stay very involved in their life. For most kids, their biggest fear of divorce is that they'll lose one or both of their parents. As time goes by, be ready to reassure your child as often as necessary that you will continue to love them forever, no matter what, and that you will keep them safe. Don't burden your child with your anger, worries, or issues with their other parent. Instead, be calm, confident, and reassuring. If there's drama—and there usually is—save it for your friends and therapist. Do your best to be kind, caring, and respectful with and about the other parent. No matter your problems with them, your child will be happier, healthier, and stronger if they feel they can count on the two of you to work together on their behalf. Be on the lookout for signs that your child blames themself. Most kids do. Guilt shows itself in many ways, from unusually good behavior and compliance through sullen disengagement all the way to defiant antagonism and negativity. Reassure your child that you and their other parent are splitting up for your own adult reasons, not because of anything your child has done or said. Some kids have questions right away, and others take longer to process what's happening, so stay alert to the possibility your child might be wondering about something. Answer their questions as they come up and as honestly as possible. Be attentive, compassionate, patient, and as honest as you can. Avoid patronizing your child or dismissing their concerns. 3. After the separation, what's next? Change is stressful, but it doesn't have to be damaging. A child whose parents are confident, mature, loving, and trustworthy can make it through a separation with better coping skills and strengths. This is a critical time in your child's life, a time to rise to the responsibility of being a parent, no matter your stressors. Every situation and every child is unique, and divorce can affect any aspect of a child's life and development. With some kids, their grades plummet; others throw themselves into schoolwork to the exclusion of everything else. Some kids become depressed or angry; others become unusually helpful and cheery. Some kids become antisocial; others become excessively social. Some become mistrustful of close relationships; others become hypersexual. Some children experience eating disorders and sleep problems; others seem to sail through unaffected by their parents' divorce. As much as possible, maintain the old routines and schedules. Consistent care reassures your child that the world is safe and predictable. Meals, outdoor play, bathtime, and bedtime routines are more important than ever now. Be patient with your own emotions and your partner's. The more mature you and your ex-partner can be during the process of separation, the better for your child. But remember also that this is a challenging time for most parents, emotionally, physically, and financially. If you or your partner is angry or upset in your child's company, accept that and apologize to your child, explaining that change is always difficult, even for grownups. Emphasize your confidence you will get through it and that everyone will be OK, as well as your understanding that it won't be easy. Three good rules for parenting post-divorce: Affirm your own and your child's worries and negative feelings. For example, "Yes. I know this is really tough for you. It's terribly disruptive going back and forth between two homes." Reassure yourself and your child that with time things will settle down, and you'll find a happy new normal. Remind yourself and your child of all that you have to be grateful for. No matter how your child responds to the changes, remember that "traditional" families have problems, too, and that your parenting behaviors through the disruption and afterward can make a big difference to your child's long-term development. Children who feel loved and supported through the divorce process and whose parents negotiate custody amicably can become more competent than those who don't experience this kind of challenge, change, or disruption. Dona Matthews, Ph.D., - Website - Blog - References The Unexpected Legacy of Divorce: A 25 Year Landmark Study, by Judith Wallerstein

Mental health care has undergone a significant transformation in recent years, largely due to the rise of remote therapy. This innovative approach to counseling and psychological support has opened new doors for individuals seeking help. Remote therapy offers convenience, accessibility, and flexibility that traditional in-person sessions often cannot match. As technology continues to evolve, so does the potential for mental health services to reach more people in need. The Rise of Remote Therapy: Changing the Landscape of Mental Health Care Remote therapy, also known as teletherapy or online counseling, uses digital platforms to connect therapists and clients. This method has become increasingly popular, especially in response to global events that limited face-to-face interactions. The convenience of attending sessions from home or any private space has made therapy more approachable for many. Some key benefits of remote therapy include: Accessibility : People living in rural or underserved areas can access qualified therapists without traveling long distances. Flexibility : Scheduling is easier, allowing clients to fit sessions into busy lives. Comfort : Being in a familiar environment can reduce anxiety and encourage openness. Privacy : Remote sessions can feel more discreet, which helps those concerned about stigma. For example, a working parent can attend therapy during a lunch break without needing to arrange childcare or commute. Similarly, someone with mobility challenges can receive support without physical barriers. Remote therapy session on a laptop screen How Remote Therapy Enhances Treatment Options Remote therapy is not just about convenience; it also expands the types of treatment available. Therapists can use video calls, phone sessions, and even text-based communication to tailor care to individual needs. This variety allows for more personalized approaches. Some therapeutic methods that work well remotely include: Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) - Structured sessions focusing on changing negative thought patterns. Mindfulness and Relaxation Techniques - Guided exercises to reduce stress and improve emotional regulation. Supportive Counseling - Providing emotional support and coping strategies for life challenges. Group Therapy - Virtual groups that connect people with similar experiences. Moreover, remote therapy platforms often include tools like mood tracking, homework assignments, and secure messaging, which enhance engagement and progress monitoring. Mental health app used alongside remote therapy Overcoming Challenges in Remote Therapy While remote therapy offers many advantages, it also presents unique challenges. Understanding these can help both therapists and clients make the most of the experience. Technical Issues Internet connectivity : Poor connections can disrupt sessions. Device compatibility : Not all clients have access to the latest technology. Privacy concerns : Ensuring secure platforms is essential to protect sensitive information. Therapeutic Relationship Building trust and rapport through a screen can be harder than in person. Therapists need to be especially attentive to non-verbal cues and create a warm, supportive atmosphere. Suitability Remote therapy may not be appropriate for everyone, especially those with severe mental health conditions requiring intensive care or crisis intervention. To address these challenges, therapists often: Provide technical support and clear instructions before sessions. Use encrypted, HIPAA-compliant platforms. Conduct initial assessments to determine if remote therapy is a good fit. Clients can improve their experience by: Choosing a quiet, private space for sessions. Testing technology beforehand. Communicating openly about any difficulties. Home office setup prepared for remote therapy The Role of Remote Therapy in Expanding Access to Care One of the most significant impacts of remote therapy is its ability to reach underserved populations. Many people face barriers to traditional mental health care, including: Geographic isolation Limited transportation options Stigma around seeking help Busy schedules or caregiving responsibilities Remote therapy helps break down these barriers by offering a more inclusive and flexible option. For example, veterans living in rural areas can connect with specialized therapists without traveling. College students juggling academics and part-time jobs can access support between classes. Additionally, remote therapy supports continuity of care during emergencies or public health crises when in-person visits are restricted. For those interested in exploring options, mental health remote therapy provides a valuable resource to find qualified virtual therapists. Looking Ahead: The Future of Remote Therapy in Mental Health Care As technology advances, remote therapy is poised to become an integral part of mental health care. Innovations such as virtual reality, AI-driven assessments, and enhanced digital tools will further improve treatment quality and accessibility. Therapists will continue to refine their skills in delivering effective care online, and clients will benefit from more personalized, convenient options. The integration of remote therapy with traditional services will create a hybrid model that maximizes the strengths of both approaches. To make the most of remote therapy, consider these tips: Be proactive : Schedule regular sessions and engage actively. Set boundaries : Create a dedicated space and time for therapy. Communicate clearly : Share feedback with your therapist to improve the experience. Use supplementary tools : Apps and online resources can support your progress. Remote therapy is not just a temporary solution but a lasting transformation in how mental health care is delivered. It empowers individuals to take control of their well-being in ways that were not possible before. By embracing remote therapy, mental health care becomes more accessible, flexible, and effective for a diverse range of people. Whether you are seeking support for anxiety, depression, or life challenges, remote therapy offers a promising path forward.